March 12, 2014 • 12:55 pm
Well its official - i haven’t gotten this worked up on the bachelor … well since my own season! Before I start, lets be honest…
Do I think that Juan Pablo was a great Bachelor? No, not really I think the role is more fit for guys who are in touch with their feelings - able to navigate them and communicate them. But if you are a woman, reading this - you will know that these guys are rare. Unfortuantley for Juan - the Bachelor is usually someone who is sensitive, a good listener, a people pleaser & a hopeless romantic. The truth is, Juan wasn’t really that guy. That does not make him a BAD guy … maybe just not fit for a show juggling 25 women. There were some things that Juan did that I did not agree with - and I am not going to defend him. But please remember - he is not in this alone. He has the guidance of several people who are putting together this puzzle that is this journey that we call THE BACHELOR. They also responsible for some of the things said, questions answered, actions taken. They are the producers and tweaking this entire journey along the way. Its hard for the viewers to believe this, because you NEVER see or hear these people - but they are there, helping coach every little move.
Again, I am not making excuses for some of the things Juan did and said - I would need to be there BEHIND THE SCENES to really see how that went down, but from what we all saw, I can see how some people might have been turned off. I am sure he has learned a lot about himself through this journey.
But, what has upset me more, is the way the franchise dealt with all of this. The franchise is a part of me. I call it my family - and when you care about something a lot you always want them to take the high road - I don’t think that happened this time.
Chris is such a GOOD friend. I couldn't have imagined doing the whole process without him by my side. I also think we can all agree, no one could host the show better than him! But... I was disappointed in him last night. I felt awkward the whole time he interviewed Juan Pablo and didn't understand the strong and relentless emphasis on getting Juan to say that he was in love! Justin said it so well lats night, "just because you're on a TV show, doesn't mean the rules of love change". I will be the first one to admit it - I THINK I SAID I WAS IN LOVE WHEN… I REALLY WASN’T …. I wasn’t. I was convinced that I was in love, but looking back - I wasn’t. Infact I would be willing to bet that a big percentage of the L-BOMBS that get dropped on this show… are premature. That doesn’t mean the relationship is fake… that doesn’t destine it for failure - strong emotions can be there but love… well it takes time. This is something many have preached to me in the past “HOW CAN YOU BE IN LOVE IN SUCH A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME?” well for once someone was realistic about it and now we are all breathing down his back.
I also wanted to touch on Sean Lowe's comment of having no choice other than being in the public eye even once the show is done. I completely disagree! Sean and Catherine have a very public life, because they have chosen to do so! After the show you can decide whether or not to keep your life public or private. A perfect example of this is Jason and Molly. They dealt with a lot of controversy after the show, and they decided to keep their life private. They focused on their relationship and building a family. Ed and I on the other hand stayed in the media and it was ONE of the factors that broke us up. I also disagreed with Catherine's comment about not "biting the hand that feeds you”. That makes ZERO sense to me. The show has brought me a lot of joy, a lot of success, tears & heartbreak. I am grateful for it and don’t regret it however - saying YES to the show does NOT guarantee ANY KIND OF EMOTION. Everyone’s experience and outcome is going to be different, and I think the reason Juan Pablo seemed annoyed by the end, is because he didn't conform to what the show and the audience wanted him to be.
And lastly, two wrongs do not make one right! I find it ironic that all everyone wanted to hear was Juan Pablo say he loved Nikki because in the end the show is all about finding love and being happy, yet all everyone did on social media was hate and bash. The name calling is sick. Somehow LOVE + BULLYING does not add up in my head. It seriously shocks me to see full grown adults say such horrible and mean things so publicly! It's not OK to bully... EVER, especially when you have never been in their shoes! Yes, they signed up for this but nothing can prepare the heart and the brain for the pressure, the risk, the attention, yes the lack of privacy that YES they signed up for, the hurt & humiliation. Yes, they signed up for it but does that mean its ok to full on bully someone? Geesh people - there are some awful people out there who abuse animals, people, the earth. Who are straight up BAD people… there is no need to call these people names. EVEN IF they wen’t on the show not knowing what they really wanted. Making someone feel even MORE insecure and more awful about themselves - well that is just awful.
For everyone who called Nikki stupid, weak etc, how are you making the situation any better? Let her listen to her heart and figure out her relationship on her own. IF you are right (AND IF) she will be FINE she will figure it out. We have all had one of those boyfriends (myself included) and I am FINE.
Matters of the heart are to live and learn from and cannot be judged by an outside perspective. LE SIGH ….
Another Bachelor season has come and gone. Justin and I took an earlier dinner reso and planned our whole first night in Hawaii so we could get back to the room to watch the show (clearly I have been seriously hooked this season). In the end, The Bachelor is a business, and here I am on my vacation spending my morning writing about it! Looks like they did something right...
FINALLY a viewpoint I agree with. Thank you, Jillian, for your commentary on the final episode. Honestly, people have been so cruel. Just because Juan Pablo and Nikki didn't drink the Bachelor "kool aid" doesn't mean that their relationship isn't strong and won't survive. Best to them!
I could not have said it better!!! Thank you for giving my thoughts perfectly on Chris Harrison!! I was so disappointed in the bullying and nonsense...and we as adults try and teach our children not to bully or be mean spirited...I would love to be able to tell Chris Harrison how disappointed and angry I was with his childish behavior! I liked you before...but now I looooveeee you!!! Thank you!!